Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm going to jail i love you
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize