it hurts more in the daytime
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My life is pants optional.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
