I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
