Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
