they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
