covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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