either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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