every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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