I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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