I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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