So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
