When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
that may or may not have been my penis.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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