Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
