What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
