That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
