Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i think i just lost a toe
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