I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I believe in your delicious
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize