Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.

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(917): View more from New York City

his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.

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(714): View more from California

And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series

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(916): View more from California

Sadness tears and throw up everywhere

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(631): View more from New York

Crying in the liquor store is not a good look

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(630): View more from Illinois

OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

I hate you

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