WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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