what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
