she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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