Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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