i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
