I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
