so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
