love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
