he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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