my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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