i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
