i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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