Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
