he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
