Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
