and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
