Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
