I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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