New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Randomize
