all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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