So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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