you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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