well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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