I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
