Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
