A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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