No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
