i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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