Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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