What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have aggressive nipples.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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