Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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