I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
