Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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