Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize