your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
