quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You may now shotgun with the bride
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
