as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
