I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize