filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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