sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
