My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize