He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
