at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Even my vagina gasped.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
