Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
