the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
