she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
