I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
