I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
