dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
