hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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